Make-up has a lot of benefits. Not only does it help you highlight your best features, it also helps you enhance the beauty that is on your inside. But mastering the art of make-up can seem daunting for a beginner. But with a few simple tricks you can truly bring out your inner clown, who truly believes that the terrorists who are committing hate crimes against minorities in our country are, in fact, not terrorists.

We asked a real life clown to give their tried-and-tested hacks so that you can finally be the clown you are on the inside…

1) Don’t be afraid to go big

You already sound like a fool, when you try to justify the actions of radical Hindu extremist terrorists by blaming it on the peaceful protestors, might as well look like one too, right? Go all out with a big red round foam nose to perch on your existing one for that signature clown look.

2) Be sure to select the right foundation

You know how they tell you to match the foundation colour to your skin tone? That’s true, but not if you’re a fully-committed clown who thinks they’re being secular but have a strong case of internalised Islamophobia and are just plain stupid. Go for a foundation that is at least five shades lighter than your skin and then wear at least 6 layers of it on your face, so that you stand out amongst the crowd.  

3) Overdraw your lips like there’s no tomorrow

Channel your inner racist Ronald McDonald and go to town on that lipliner. Carve out a smile for yourself that exceeds the normal boundaries of your mouth to embrace the idiot you sound like when you say “But why are you singling out that person’s religion. He is more than that”.

4) DIY texturising spray

Mix equal parts salt and water together and spray your curly red wig with it. It might not do anything because most clown wigs are synthetic, but it will give you something to do with your hands other than typing out tweets that say “The protestors are also to be blamed a little for radicalising the youths” or “If you don’t want to listen to right wing politicians give hateful speeches then just don’t listen to them na?”

5) Clothes maketh the clown

A brightly coloured ruffled collar and a bold printed jacket can go a long way in completing your look. If you’re already on the path to sound like an absolute tool, might as well dress the part. Throw in a pair of striped pants and it’s a party!