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2018 Weekly Horoscope: 30 April- 6 May

By Team Rayon Updated: July 26, 2018 at 8:02 am 0 Comment


You will feel a strong urge to reach out to old friends, which would be difficult to do so because anybody who knows you for more than 2 minutes knows about the diarrhoea situation.


Don’t get any major cosmetic surgeries done this week. Maybe just a little work on that nose of yours. The stars won’t mind that.


When you wished your life was like a superhero movie, the stars listened. It’s now exactly like Avengers: Infinity War. Everything you love is gone and it’s all tears and sadness from now.


Uncertainties regarding who actually murdered your uncle will make the next family dinner a little more uncomfortable than usual.


Some people might be trying to hold you back. Fight the negativity by biting hard on the hand of anyone who tries to slap that donut away from your hand.


You’ll be a household name once people start realising that you’re the insane creep who keeps asking actresses to marry them on their Instagram posts’ comments.


God couldn’t give us all private jets, so He gave us the ability to climb up 15 floors to reach the roof and jump down from it.


What does Uday Chopra have and you don’t? People who love him for his money.


Due to Mercury’s position, your horoscope this week is exactly the same as it was on May 20th 2014. So be prepared to get hit by your mother’s car all over again.


Because of your constant ‘high on life’ Instagram posts, people in your life will wish you were back to being high on crystal meth again.


The stars didn’t really bother reading your depressing horoscope this week. You’re on your own, bud.


Your fear of being forgotten after you die will be unfounded. The serial killer who kills you will always remember you by your pinkie finger.