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5 Things to Say on Your First Date that Will Have Him Scream ‘Wow! You’re Much Hotter than the New Spider-Man Teaser’

By Team Rayon Updated: January 15, 2019 at 4:46 pm 0 Comment

First dates can be hard. As Akshay Kumar always says, first impression is the last impression on serial killers. It’s especially hard right after a really cool movie teaser has dropped. You know you’re not as interesting as that movie teaser, especially not if it’s a teaser for a Marvel superhero movie.


This week, the teaser trailer for the next Spider-Man instalment released and your date is obviously going to be obsessed by it because he’s a man boy and he’d much rather be having sex with the new teaser trailer than sit there and awkwardly make conversation with you. But don’t you worry, we’ve got your back. Here are 5 things you can say on your first day that will have him shout in a really loud voice ‘Wow! You’re Much Hotter than the New Spider-Man Teaser’…

Talk about how much you’d like to wear an eye patch like Nick Fury

A 2016 study, published in the We’d Rather Be Looking for the Cure for Cancer journal revealed that 78% of all men secretly want to sleep with Nick Fury. Not Samuel. L. Jackson, the actor who plays Nick Fury, but the character Nick Fury. If you tell your date that you’re up for wearing an eye patch in bed, then there’s no way he’s shouting ‘Wow! You’re Much Hotter than the New Spider-Man Teaser’ right there and then.

Tell him about the time your mother accidentally said ‘die bitch’ instead of ‘good morning’ to you

There’s nothing hotter than unresolved issues between parents and children. If you really want to grab his attention away from the pretty bomb new Spider-Man teaser, then dig into your memory lane for the deepest and most traumatic stories involving parental disgust and watch him melt.

Mention that you have not killed any grandmothers in the past

One of the top worries any man has going in for a first date is that he might end up going out with someone who has killed a grandmother in the past. If you assure him within the first 5 minutes of your date that no grandmother has suffered a fatal attack from your side then you’re golden.

Show him the teeth collection you have of your ex-boyfriends

Men love a woman in charge. Show him that you’re in charge, of several canines and incisors that previously belonged to your ex-boyfriends. There’s no way a slick new Marvel teaser is going to keep him away from you any longer.

 Tell him about how you can only feel joy when a kitten cries

Contrary to popular beliefs, men love it when a woman expresses honest emotion. If you want all of his attention, and to keep it from going back to Nick Fury’s badassness in the Spider-Man teaser, then tell him how the only time you feel happy is when a kitten cries.