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7 Health and Beauty Benefits of Drinking Pigeon Blood if You’re a Pigeon Vampire

By Team Rayon Updated: September 2, 2018 at 5:10 pm 0 Comment

Despite what popular actress Alia Bhatt believes, there are zero health or beauty benefits of drinking pigeon blood.

 

But if you’re a vampire, of the pigeon kind, then there might be some hope for you.

Researchers, who could have spent their time on better things, published a paper that cited several benefits of drinking pigeon blood.

“We found out that pigeon blood is actually very healthy for pigeons,” said lead researcher Sushma Parekh, “Our findings are not based on any actual experiment, we just think that it must be what God intended.”

Without further ado, here are seven not-yet-proven but amazing health and beauty benefits of drinking pigeon blood, if you’re a pigeon who is also a vampire…

1)  Better eyesight

Pigeon eyeballs have blood, right? Or at least a few blood vessels. If you drink pigeon blood regularly, you’ll have better eyesight too.

2) Silky coat of feathers

Consuming pigeon blood will increase the component which imparts lustre to you feathers. Nobody actually knows if this is true or not, but what’s the harm in trying, eh?

3) Improves chances with the ladies

If you’re a dude pigeon vampire, then drinking excessive amounts of pigeon blood can help increase your chances of finding your one true love. Many studies have shown that females, regardless of any species, prefer vampires over regular creatures. Chances are, the lady pigeon you’ve been eyeing might get impressed by your pigeon blood chugging skills.

4) Memory retention

You’re a pigeon vampire. You’re probably immortal too (details of pigeon vampire lifestyle are not entirely clear to the writer or anyone else in the world, for that matter). Since your main source of nutrition seems to be pigeon blood, drinking more of it would probably help you retain memories of all the things you must have seen while you were flying all those years ago.

5) Controlling pigeon population

As some of the oldest living pigeons in the world, assuming pigeon vampires are immortal, it’s your responsibility to maintain the pigeon population. Too many pigeons can’t be good for the ecosphere, right? Since there are no real scientists involved in the curation of the list, we can’t be sure.

6) Blood sugar level regulation

Not eating properly can wreck havoc on your blood sugar levels. Now we don’t know for sure if this is a problem in the pigeon vampire world, but we have to assume. Please eat, or drink blood in this case, so that you remain healthy and can function as a responsible citizen of the pigeon vampire world.

7) It’s what nature intended

When nature made you a pigeon vampire, it obviously intended for you to drink other people’s blood, right? If you don’t follow the natural order, then bad stuff can happen. Have you not seen 2012?