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Sonam Kapoor on How Documenting Her Life Online is a Matter of Life and Death and Other Important Stuff

By Salva Mubarak Updated: September 2, 2018 at 6:14 pm 0 Comment

A few minutes before this interview was scheduled to start, I was informed that I have to change out of my outfit into something that “doesn’t hurt Sonam’s eyes”.

I want to tell Anil Kapoor that it’s highly rude of him to tell me to change out of my bright orange polyester sweatpants, but I decide to pick my battles and quietly change into a black Rheson crop top, which was actually a sari blouse, and pants that somehow managed to look like an avocado.

“It’s not like Sonam would start bleeding from her eyes if she sees bad fashion, but she would stab herself in the face so it’s better for all of us to maintain a good sense of style around here,” explains Anil Kapoor unprompted.

Right as Anil Kapoor is finishing the explanation that no one wanted, Sonam Kapoor enters the room in a dress that was actually a sari but was made out of a pantsuit.

“I don’t like being called a fashionista but I understand that its hard to find polite things to say about me, so I let it go. Mostly,” says Sonam, as she settles down with a cup of coffee. She raises a hand to stop me from asking my next question and whips out her cellphone to take a selfie with her coffee.

“Which caption do you think is better: ‘Don’t talk to me until I’ve had my coffee’, or ‘Coffee is life’,” Sonam asks me. When I tell her that both the captions are basic as hell, she laughs and tells me that she invented basic. “That makes zero sense,” I tell her, but she is already posting the picture with the caption ‘Basic AF’. “Thanks for the idea, babe,” she says.

When I ask her why it’s so important for her to document her entire life on social media, she looks at me like I’m a dumb bitch, which I probably am but I didn’t need Sonam Kapoor to tell me this.

“First of all, I don’t document my entire life online,” she says, “And second of all, it’s essentially a matter of life and death, you know what I mean?”

I ask her to elaborate.

“For every retweet or like I get on my posts, I release one hostage from my basement,” she says.

It was reported, in 2015, that Sonam liked to keep random people, and sometimes celebrities, hostage in her basement for amusement. “I’m basically doing God’s work. Nobody wants Chandrachur Singh out there, roaming in the wild, you know what I mean?”

She makes a fair point. I decide to move on to the thing that everyone wants to know. Who is Anand Ahuja?

“That’s a great question. I am fairly certain he is the man I got married to a few months back,” says Sonam.


Before we could discuss this further, Sonam’s sister and stylist Rhea Kapoor walks in. She informs Sonam that she has to leave for a shoot in 10 minutes. “It’s a photoshoot I’m doing to celebrate my relationship with…I want to say Anant?” I tell her it’s Anand, from one question go and she laughs, “I have so many names and lines to remember everyday that I can’t keep track of all this. I’m a movie star, you know what I mean?”

After Rhea threatens to call the security on me, I conclude the interview with Sonam Kapoor, asking her to tell us something that she thinks no-one knows about her.

“I’m related to Sushant Singh Rajput. Our nannies were best friends in college. Crazy, you know that I mean?