“We were having a good time, until she decided to go with natural and more fuller eyebrows,” says the discarded eyebrows from 2009, “She dumped us faster than you can say Adhyayan Suman.”

The rumours that Kangana Ranaut’s eyebrows from 2009 are in the process of writing an explosive tell-all about the actress’ life have now been confirmed.

The eyebrows have appeared alongside Kangana in her movies, including Raaz 2, Fashion and Gangster.

In a series of Tweets, the eyebrows claimed that they had been promised a longer shelf life than they were accorded and now have nothing to lose.

“There are some serious skeletons in her closet,” reads one of the Tweets in the long thread, “Seriously. She has a hoarding problem. She hasn’t cleaned her closet since last Halloween.”

Kangana’s rather tumultuous life has been a topic of public discussion, especially her episode with alien enthusiast Hrithik Roshan. “There are darker secrets about her private life that the public has no idea of,” says a statement released by the eyebrows’ lawyers.

According to the 3-page statement, the unauthorized biography would include Kangana’s role in popularizing pineapples on pizza and her relationship with the CGI tiger from Life of Pi.

“We have no proof of any truths published in the book, but good luck proving us wrong,” reads the concluding line in the statement.

Kangana, her eyebrows, her eyebrows form 2009 and Vivek Oberoi were unavailable for comment.