With instances of police brutality on the rise across the world, cops are getting negative press for abusing their power. Many Bollywood celebrities shave come forward to give statements vaguer than Sushant Singh Rajput’s Instagram captions. Kareena Kapoor Khan, who unironically goes by the moniker KKK, posted a picture showing solidarity with the victims of police brutality in America, just after posting a heartfelt message of gratitude for Mumbai police.

But all this has not gone down well with resident police enthusiast Rohit Shetty. “Cops are getting bad press, I need to do something,” he mutters to himself every night, according to a source.

You might know Rohit Shetty as the maker of movies where killing an accused person in police custody is not seen as a violation of fundamental rights, but glorified as the right thing to do. He has decided to be to the police what ‘Being Human’ is for Salman Khan, a PR clean up. The director is planning to release his movie Sooryavanshi immediately, (with cameos by Singham and Simmba no less) to show cops in a good light. 

According to our source, who may or may not be Mimoh Chakraborthy, he’s planning to shoot scenes with Akshay Kumar playing with stray dogs, to show his character and his colleagues in a warmer light. 

“People sympathise with other people who like dogs,” said Rohit, “If I had Akshay Kumar dress as a cop and play with some dirty street dogs, then surely people would like cops again?”

When we tried to reach Akshay Kumar for a statement, he climbed out of his cryogenic chamber and said, “hfkggjoprekop.” When we expressed confusion, he removed his ball gag and said, “No comments.”