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Is Your Friendship Toxic? 7 Easy Ways to Find Out Now…

By Team Rayon Updated: August 8, 2020 at 11:51 am 8 Comment

Are your ‘friends’ secretly terrible people? They will not always present themselves as obviously bad people, like a Regina George or Adolf Hitler, but there can be signs that you can observe to know if the friendship is toxic for you.

“Friendships are very important in life,” says Mumbai-based clinical psychologist Dr. P.M. Fernandez, “If you want to perform a successful Ouija board reading, then you need at least four friends to make it look cool.”

Whether you’re a teenage girl in school who just wants to be popular, or a nearly 50-year-old man who wants to be popular and suck up to a powerful dictator so that he will favour him and his friends, and in turn give him the illusion of power, here’s how you can figure out if your friendship is toxic or not…

1) They are dismissive of things that you like

While it’s alright to have different tastes from your friends and to not like the same things, but a good friend would support the things you like. They shouldn’t actively be rude and dismissive about things that you’re into, like that new Lady Gaga album or the democracy.

2) They never admit when they’re wrong

Everyone is a little stubborn, but that doesn’t mean it’s alright for them to always claim that they are in the right. Especially when you know that they’re morally in the wrong. Always be wary of someone who never apologises for mistakes like breaking your headphones or actively encouraging the rise of Hindutva, or even grossly handling things during a global pandemic.

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3) They don’t support you when you need them

We all make decisions that we’re not proud of, but your friends should always have your back. When you’re at your lowest point and the whole world is against you, you should always be able to count on your friend to support you. They should not be actively backing the person who is essentially demanding your head on a platter just so they can win an election that you don’t even care about that much.

4) They are not easy to trust

Trust is very important in any relationship, including your friendship. But if you find yourself being wary of sharing any information with them, then maybe your trust isn’t that strong. Ask yourself, would you want them to know your deepest darkest secrets? Check the status of your friendship if you’re struggling to do simple things like link your Aadhar card to your bank account, lest they get more information about you than you’re willing to share.

5) They talk badly about you behind your back

Your friend should have your back whether you’re present in the room or not. If you know, for a fact, that your friend has been spreading malicious rumours and lies about you, or silently supporting a nationwide smear campaign against you on social media, then it’s a big sign for you to dump them and move on.

6) They are good to you but bad to others

If they’re nice to you but you know how terribly they treat other people then it means that they can do the same to you. This can manifest in things like them being mean about someone they pretend to like in front of others, or being directly responsible for the deaths of thousands of people from a minority religious group.

7) They don’t make you happy anymore

Just because they were good for you once doesn’t mean they will be that way forever. If they don’t make you feel happy anymore, then maybe it’s time to let go. Sure, you enjoyed all the good times when you destroyed your moral compass and removed your spine just so you could have unfettered access to power and connections that will help further your career and your friends’, but now if it seems like too much work, then maybe it’s time to dump them.