A recent study published in the Journal of Stuff and Things concluded that continued exposure to one or multiple family WhatsApp groups has direct relation to subsequent loss of faith in humanity.

“We studied behaviours of 50 different family WhatsApp groups and came to the conclusion that repeated exposure to messages from distant family relatives about how repeating God’s name 101 times can ward off Corona virus, or elaborate conspiracy theories about what’s on the news, can slowly make you believe nothing matters and long for the void,” says lead researcher Dr. B. L. Malik.

The study, reportedly, has been going on for over 5 years and focussed on different family WhatsApp group chats over the years. “It starts off slowly, you have your average ‘good morning’ messages. Then comes the alarming political opinions from elder relatives,” said Dr. Malik, “The straws that eventually break the metaphorical camel’s back are the elaborate discussions on mental health that inadvertently end with the conclusion that kids these days are weak minded and would be less depressed if they did more Yoga.”

Since the study has been published, it has gained many vocal supporters across the Internet.

“I knew I shouldn’t have unmuted my family group just to express my disgust at the leaked photos  of someone’s recent tragedy that they were gleefully dissecting,” said 27-year-old Mumbai resident Devika, “The uncle who told me that therapy is a money-making racket run by scoundrels to exploit weak-minded youth, just forwarded a message that asked people to reach out to their loved ones when they feel emotionally lost.”

19-year-old Vipin has a different take on the study, “I love my family group. I had no idea my family had so many detectives. My aunt and my cousin’s husband just proved how Muslims who were protesting at Shaheen Bagh released the COVID 19 virus to castrate non-Muslims. Isn’t that amazing?”

Dr. Malik had nothing else to say.