A scientific report published in the Journal of Stuff and Things claims that Indians have a unique mutant gene that allows their mental disorders to be visible via naked eye.

“We would like to state very clearly that a majority of Indians do not suffer from mental health disorders,” writes lead researcher P.L Kennedy, “But the small majority that suffer from them, mostly people who are always on their phones and like to play video games, exhibit clear signs that indicate their accurate mental condition.”

The research lists that when Indians are depressed, or suffering from other mental health issues, their scent becomes different. “You can smell the depression from almost even 6 feet away from them,” writes Kennedy. The study also adds that the people with poor mental health have a greenish glow emanating from their bodies while they’re asleep and, in some cases, a faint tattoo that announces their mental condition appears on their foreheads.

“People can, therefore, accurately detect whether or not a person is suffering from a mental disorder just by looking at them in person or their photos and videos,” says the report.

The report suggests that India would be at the forefront of a revolutionary movement where therapists and psychologists won’t even have to talk to the patients or meet them in person to diagnose them, all they have to do is get their family members or friends to confirm whether they’ve seen the aforementioned symptoms appear in the patient or not.

This theory also backs up the thousand year old claim by Indians that they can judge whether or not a person is depressed or not by noting the amount of times they laugh or smiled.

Kennedy concludes the report by saying, “Now that we’ve established that Indians can detect mental disorders through visual and olfactory aids, we will get back to figuring out whether Indians managed to scare Corona virus off with cow urine or not.”