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7 Celebrity-Approved Beauty Tips to Transform Yourself into A Public Bus So They Can Find Enough Empathy to Mourn You

By Shreemi Verma and Team Rayon Updated: December 19, 2019 at 2:34 pm 9 Comment

Regardless of where your political beliefs lie, we can all collectively agree that celebrities know a thing or two about beauty and beauty secrets. Despite being busy being filled with righteous indignation at people asking them to respond to political issues when they just want to talk about their new movie trailers, they took out some time to share the aforementioned beauty secrets with us.

“The goal is to not look human. Humans gross. Bus pretty,” said Vicky Kaushal.

From Vicky Kaushal to Rangoli Chandel, here are all the beauty tips to set you on a path of transformation into a piece of public property that they can then mourn about in their half-hearted Tweets.

1) Don’t skimp on the Vitamin C



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A post shared by Rangoli Chandel (@rangoli_r_chandel) on

“To be a public bus that the government cares more about than its students, you first need to apply Vitamin C serum every night. Not a lot of people know that C stands for Cow and the serum is basically cow urine. My favourite politician Pragya Singh Thakur says it cures cancer too. Makes sense because both cow and cancer start from the letter C,” says Rangoli Chandel.

2) Invest in some face paint



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Ranveer Singh firmly believes that if you really want to be something or someone, just paint your face to match that something/someone’s colour. “You wanna play a poor person who lives in a slum, just put some dark brown foundation on your face,” said the Gully Boy star, “You wanna be a bus, put on some green paint on your face. Or if you want to be one of those tourist buses, then go for white.”

3) Just really believe in your government. Like really hard.



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Vicky Kaushal implored us to keep faith in the government. “Good things will happen to you if you really, really believe in the current regime,” said Vicky. When asked how it would help us in transforming into a public bus, he said, “It would. Just have faith. Please don’t lose any faith.” Ayushmann Khurrana also agreed wholeheartedly with pal Vicky Kaushal.

4) Become one with the road and throw some litter on yourself



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Anushka Sharma’s tip might seem a little difficult to achieve, but not entirely impossible. “All you have to do is be a road,” said Anushka, “Just become a road, ya. What’s so difficult about it? That way if someone throws litter on you, I can scream at them and make a video out of it.” 

5) Drink a bus full of water



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“Oh, so Ranveer already covered the face painting one, ya?” Said Bhumi Pednekar, “OK, so to fully capture the spirit of becoming a public bus, you need to understand the scale of said bus. Just fill one up with water and drink it.” When asked what on God’s green Earth is she talking about, she said, “I don’t know, man. Ranveer really took my answer.”

6) A little tear gas done no-one no harm



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“Tears are good for clearing your skin, maybe that’s why the Delhi Police used tear gas on the students. They meant well – Love A” wrote Aamir Khan in an e-mail to us.

7) Dig a hole in the ground and stick your mug right into it



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And finally, Jamia alumni Shah Rukh Khan broke his silence and told us to use mud packs to be the best-looking bus out there. “The best way to get this mud on your face is if you burry your head into the ground. You forget about all that’s happening outside, and your skin eventually looks amazing, just like an ostrich.”