All your insecurities about love will go away once you finally realise you’re never going to find it.
Your career as a professional Uday Chopra impersonator will meet an abrupt end after a fortunate accident.
It might sound appealing, but being known as the guy who wears head-to-toe white and pretends he is one-half of director duo Abbas Mustan is not going to age well.
You don’t actually need to be a nap royalty to have a T-shirt that reads ‘Nap Queen’ with a crooked crown on it.
The stars don’t think you matter enough to warrant a full horoscope this week.
Do NOT hug a Libra this week. Just don’t.
The love of your life is just waiting for you to get over your ongoing phase of whistling the ‘Dil To Pagal Hai’ tune every time you pee.
You called it. Your explosive diarrhoea incident of the week will happen at a Starbucks near the place you work at.
They laughed at you when you said eating mouse pads can prevent onset dementia, but they didn’t really deny it.
When they said you’re like a cancer spreading within the organisation in your appraisal interview, they weren’t correctly guessing your zodiac sign.
When Shilpa Shetty asked people to ‘Shut up and Bounce’, she must have had a strict time limit in mind. You can stop bouncing now.
It’s true that what goes around comes back around, but nothing bad is going to happen to Sonam Kapoor for not inviting you to her wedding.
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