Aquarius

When life gives you lemon, make some lemonade for the devil because that’s what polite girls should do.

Pisces

It’s good to be a little skeptical about what you see around yourself. When your mother says she loves you, she might have an ulterior motive.

Aries

It’s never too late to apologise for the mistakes you’ve made. This horoscope is only applicable if you’re Ajay Devgn, the maker of Shivaay.

Taurus

Living in a constant state of fear about your diarrhoea situation will help you realise the value of things you’ve taken for granted over the years.

Gemini

An upcoming incident involving a chainsaw and your friend’s pet hamster will have you call upon your problem-solving skills.

Cancer

Wednesday’s full moon will have no effect on your love life. Just like everything you’ve been doing up till now.

Leo

Don’t wear green on Friday and Sunday. Doing this will give you a false sense of victory over your miserable fortune. But not for long.

Virgo

Take time off this week to focus on yourself. This will help you come to the conclusion everyone has: You suck.

Libra

Mercury rejoins your creative zone this week, and other random words.

Scorpio

Pay heed to what your loved ones are telling you, Scorpion. When they tell you to ‘Go jump up your own ass’, they must have a reason.

Sagittarius

The stars want you think long and hard before issuing any ultimatums about Vicky Kaushal this week. Things may turn out worse than you feared.

Capricorn

It’s not about how many people you slay with your brand new look. It’s about how many of those bodies you can stuff into that grave you dug up in your back garden.